Million Dollar View Sunrise

Howick Golf Glub, one with the Million Dollar View....at dawn, 0631hrs 12 Feb 2010

A scarry vision

songtimentally...

A day in the life... a Solitaire... a Desperado... walking Positively 4th Street ...Like a rolling stone... in the Streets of London...When I am 64?

Say you need to say
Say you need to say

Stand by me?

And I Love You So

I am in one of those "songtimental" moods....singing the lyrics of this song popularised by Perry Como/Don Mclean and Elvis Presley.

And I love you* so
People ask me how
How I live til now
I tell them I don't know

I guess they understand
How lonly life has been
But life began again
The day you took my hand

The book of life is brief
And once a page is read
All but love is dead
That is my belief

*God

"Life is short", "Life is a gift".... we say these quite often and it has become almost rhetorical. What are we going to do about it?
Tropicanna Golf and Country Club members would remember the club's tagline - "Life is to be enjoyed"... but how?
Enjoy yourselves irregardless of everything else; people around you; others' feelings; just strictly self-gratifications?

Happiness which depends on someone, on something will be temporary....Joy is lasting and it is a positive relationship with God and your loved ones!

We all still have a fair chance to leave a positive legacy until the time has come for us to go.

Friendship - a short note

This short note (some complained too long) was written for my golfing buddies in NZ...

Most of us here are enjoying the sunset of our lives in this "Land of the long white clouds"..... some of us have achieved great things (and acquired great wealth); some of us have survived all the big mistakes in our walk on this earth; some of us are still trying to achieve greater heights. Wherever you are, be thankful for who you are and all the blessings.

We are from different background but are here in NZ for various different reasons and we choose to share our times whenever we can get together.

Friendship, to me, is vital in our daily living. The relation between friends must be mutually contributing and mutually respecting with sincerity and genunity to accept/tolerate each other's strengths and flaws.

Communication and clarification of any miscommunication is key. People must be prepared to take time and effort to approach the other party DIRECTLY and if there are really insurmountable fundamental differences, then the relationship can take a more superficial level without having to force any major change of behaviour from either party. We demand the government to be fair and transparent.....let's start with ourselves, with no hidden agendas.
Even in the harsh world of politics, there was a special bond between President Roosevelt and Prime Minister Churchill during those World War days... they knew one another's strengths and flaws, and at times, they made fairly cutting remarks and were critical of each other. They were there for each other in times of dire need and were able to prevail and shape the world's destiny during their time in power.

We are in the twilight of our lives and my philosophy is to take the days as they come as blessings to share them with our loves ones and our friends, without intimidation or obligation or being patronizing.

I enjoy taking and sharing photos to all the MMC and as usual most of the time very few actually expressed your thanks and appreciation in the email. No worries. I think all of you do (but quietly, Chinese style).
I will continue to take photos and share them (as long as they do not offend/embarrass any individual in particular - no malice but just for fun in some cases), the intention is to share the moments and as my personal diary of things I do with my friends (even though my face rarely featured - it does not add value, I know). If you specifically do not want to be captured in my camera, please tell me direct too.

Friendship cannot be forced and cannot be on equal status all across the board. To me, a small group of mutually congenial friendship with depth and quality is more valuable. The breadth of friendship without quality is not worth pursuing.

p/s: as I told you guys before, getting old has got me more and more philosophical (and busy-body giving unsolicited grandfatherly advice). Delete it or take this in a positive note, can?

Be Yourself

Getting a bit philosophical today.....
I have added an asterik (*) and some song titles in parentheses to the following famous aphorism:

Always be yourself* because the people that matter don't mind, and the ones who mind, don't matter.

*
be different but don't be a (Stupid cupid)
be kind and (Don't be cruel)
be creative and (Never say never)
be supportive and (That's what friends are for)
be grateful and (Let it be)
be humble and be a (Better man)

Loving What Is

Read this book by Byron Katie (2002).

There are only 3 kinds of business in this universe - mine, yours and God's.
Anything that's out of my control, your control and everyone else's control, that is God's business. It is also called "Reality".

When I think "you need a job"; "I want you to be happy"; "You should be on time"; "You need to take better care of yourself" ---- I am in your business!

When I am worried about earthquakes, floods, wars and when will I die ------ I am in God's business!
To think that I know what is best for anyone else is to be out of my business. Even in the name of love, it is pure arrogance and the result is tension, anxiety and fear.

Do I know what is best for me? This is my only business.

Accept reality and deal with it.
Which is more enpowering? "I wish I hadn't lost my job" versus "I lost my job ; what can I do now?"

The only time we suffer is when we believe a thought that argues with what is, the reality. It is hopeless.
If you want reality to be different than it is, you might as well try to teach a cat to bark. You try and try and finally, the cat will look up to you and say "Meow"!

What about "loving thy neighbouras thyself"? a friend of mine asked.

I had thought about that too .... if everybody minds his own business and be self-centred, then this world is not a good place to be in.

I cannot find any specific answer from the book, to that question. But having read the book, let me TRY to rationalise...

I think loving my neigbours and all the people around me, is within my control. It is my business. However if I were to expect my neighbour to love me or care for me in certain ways that I think appropriate, then I will going into his business of behaviour or action (which is not within my control). Sometimes what I think or like others to do like "I want him to.." , "I need him to.."; "he shouldn't have.."; "he should have.."; "I am angry with him because..." etc...... these phrases if repeated over my mind, would eventually become a basis for "judging thy neighbour".

This book challenges us to ask the following 4 questions (she calls it The Work) whenever we are "out of bound" and have gone into "others' business" :

1. Is it true?
2. Can you absolutely know that it's true?
3. How do you react when you think that thought?
4. Who would you b without the thoughts?
and
Turn it around

The Work, she claims has worked for many people in all kinds of situations ..couples and family life; work and money; self-judgement; with children; body and addictions; making friends with the worst that can happen ....

I suppose one has to read the book and work the worksheet to gain the real insight.

So, my short answer to my friend's question is: Yes, by all means love thy neighbour but not judge thy neighbour.
The latter, often is very hard to do!!!

"A thought is harmless unless we believe it. It's not thoughts, but the attachment to our thoughts, that cause suffering. Attaching to a thought means believing that it's true, without enquiring."

In conclusion, mind you own business well first before you mind others' business that you consider as your business as well, because you care.